This is my last letter in 2018 to the people that helped shape me. It’s also my 40th blog post which feels a bit special. Anyway, here it is, keeping my twitter promise, a letter to my Mum.
There are literally not enough words to say how much you mean to me. Trying to do that would verge on the impossible. You deserve the world but I’m too poor to buy the world so you’ll have to cope with a blog-letter. Maybe also a chocolate orange.
We’ve known each other for 25 and a half years now: that’s if we don’t include pregnancy. What that means is: you’re now very old. You’re now a parent to two grown women and a Nana to a six month old baby. Hold on while I laugh about that!
On a more serious note, it’s been some ride, hasn’t it? Some people on this planet don’t have a Mum. Some don’t even have any parents. Some don’t even have any family. That makes me an exceptionally lucky human being because I’ve had you for my entire life. You’ve stuck with me: you poor, poor soul.
A long time ago (in a galaxy far, far away…) you used to say that me, you and my sister were a package. We came together. We were a team. We navigated the world together, riding the rollercoaster of life through some ups and some incredible downs. As a parent I now know how difficult it was for you to steer that ship, predominantly on your own most of the time.
In typical parenting fashion you also used to say “just you wait until you have kids”. I now have one. Thanks for teaching me about unconditional love so I can go on to teach my son about unconditional love. It has come full circle and I’m now steering a ship in the knowledge that I can do anything: because you sometimes achieved the impossible to keep our ship afloat.
I’m not going to linger on the bad times because most people who know us, know that we’ve had some very volatile moments in our relationship. You know… with lamps. Sorry that I’m sometimes a horrible human being: before you attempt to deny that, don’t bother. We both know that there are times when I channel my inner Evil.
Thanks for pushing me to succeed. Thanks for teaching me about anxiety and offering to listen and help. Thanks for constantly telling me that I was going to University. Thanks for cooking food for me. Thanks for breaking yourself to give us things we wanted and things we needed. Thanks for teaching us the value of family – especially when things are tough. Thanks for teaching us the value of friendship and always operating an open door policy. Thanks for sitting in hospitals with me when I had asthma attacks. Thanks for being one of my birthing partners – and thanks for sitting in the cafe worrying about whether I’d survive it all. Thanks for reading to me. Thanks for making sure I love vegetables. Thanks for being an amazing Nana to my son. Thanks for worrying about me. Thanks for babysitting. Thanks for putting our best interests first most of the time and giving us the strength to make our own decisions. Thanks for reminding me that a panic attack can’t kill me. Thanks for doing all those stomach injections for me after I had the baby – that was grim. Thanks for teaching me parenting skills: and thanks for letting us stay at your house for the first three weeks of my son’s life. Thanks for all the disgusting things you had to put up with during and after the pregnancy: that was REALLY grim, Mum.
There are millions of other things I could list. You’re awesome and I love you.